I’m currently on my second read through of the book. I’m picking up even more nuggets this time around. I’ve spent a lot of time actually writing this past month, and, as a result, a lot of things are popping for me now. I’d thought I’d take some time today to share one of the many techniques that stood out for me and is helping strengthen my craft. It relates to the passive voice.
Write with verbs that are active. Especially avoid the verb “to be” in all its forms.
Active verbs paint a picture. They are action words that do more than paint a picture in a readers head. They play movies in a readers mind. They engage.
Why avoid the verb “to be” including all its forms. (is, are, were, am, was, be, been, being, will) To quote Swain, “the verb to be is weak, in all its shapes and forms and sizes. Why? Because it describes existence only – a static state. Your story stands still in any sentence that hangs on such a verb. Nothing happens.”
Can you ever avoid using it? I’m not sure, but if you hunt them down in your own writing, at the very least, you’ll think about the sentence, and maybe a stronger sentence will jump out a chance at a stronger sentence emerges.
You can use Word to find all the forms of the verb “to be” in a section. Use the advanced find feature. Type the word “be” (without quotes) in the search box. Next, select the “Find all word forms” check box under the button labeled More>>>. Depending on your version of Word, you can highlight all the words at once. I’m sure other programs have this feature, but I have Word installed on my computer.
I just did this with one of my first scenes in my current work in progress. Its 2517 words long and I found 53 instances of the verb in my scene. The first 500 words are lit up like the veritable Fourth of July. I’m picking some text at random to chop up. I’m including the preceding sentence or two for context.
Quinn moved away from his door and sprinted toward the back of his room. He opened his closet door and shut it behind him. This was the only way the hidden door worked.I look at this now and can’t believe I wrote something this weak and wretched. How about we spice it up? It’s describing how a hidden door works. How about I write something better and more engaging. In fact, there is a lot of telling in that whole passage capped off by the highlighted “was”.
He wheeled and sprinted toward the back of his room. He ripped open the closet door, lunged inside, and slammed it shut behind him.
Beyond his hanging trousers and coats, he heard the spring of the latch pop from the dark confines. A whoosh of air glided over his face greeting him like a friend.
His breath came in short bursts and his mouth went dry. He knew that sound mixed with the musty aroma. It meant the hidden door in the back of his closet stood open. Thank Elan something worked right.
I’m much happier with the re-write and I rid myself of the pesky word “was” and all its passiveness.
An update on my as of yet untitled work in progress:
I’m learning more with every word typed, and I’m thoroughly enjoying the ride. I told my fourteen year old this week. “I get to watch a movie nobody’s seen yet unfold before me every day. I have a front row seat at the premiere. Even I’m not sure what’s going to happen next.” The last part caught her off guard. “What do you mean Dad? Aren’t you writing it?” That made me smile. I love that kid.
My total word count is 27,712. I wrote about 5,700 words this week. My plot line is just about to pass through the first gate, the point of no return for my main character.
I believe my edits are going to take some time as witnessed by the passage above. But, picking apart writing and making it better is infinitely easier, for me, than creating it in the first place. I’ve avoided reading 95% of my work so far. I fear the urge to re-write will be so strong I’ll lose my momentum.
By the way, I know this post has many forms of the verb “to be” peppered about. Go easy on me folks. It’s tough to snuff them out.
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